The Funny Side to Dating – 3 Sections to Amuse and Entertain You

I know that dating can be serious business, but I think that many of you could do with a bit of a break from all the drama and have a bit of a giggle. I trust that this article will help to point out that there is a humorous side to dating.

We all need to learn to see the funny side of things and have a laugh once and a while, even if it is at someone else’s expense.

*WARNING: Do not try any of these at home!

Online Dating Funnies:

If you have ever joined an online dating site you will probably know that they often ask you to write a catchy profile header about yourself to entice more people to read your profile. Well this has always annoyed me as I can never think of anything witty or profound to say and even though I personally think I am brilliant, I cannot always get this message across to other people.

I have done some research and found a few people who obviously do know how to attract someone’s attention, even if it is not in the most conventional way.

9 of the Funniest Online Dating Profile Headers

1. You must be over 5’10” to read my profile
2. Is this thing like eBay?
3. Shopping for Guys – And They Said There Was No Such Store
4. I bathe everyday!
5. Feel free to interact with me. All my shots are current!
6. Coffee, Chocolate and Men – some things are just better rich.
7. I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.
8. You can’t ALL be the one I am looking for!
9. Willing to lie about how we met!

Would you be enticed to message one of those people? I know I probably would. A good sense of humour is a very attractive quality

Meeting the Parents:

Meeting the parents can be a very nerve wracking experience as I very well know. Upon meeting my fianc├ęs parents almost 3 years ago now, I vaguely remember telling his mother in my drunken state that I would shag Will Smith if it came down to it. Seriously!?! What on earth was I thinking? Needless to say, I am not the only one who has messed up and so to help you I have researched a list of 10 things you definitely should not say when meeting the parents for the first time (make that 11 if you include the Will Smith incident).

9 Things You Should Never Say When Meeting the Parents

1. “Shall we get take-out instead?”
2. “Is that your car in the driveway that I just backed into?”
3. “This house could really do with a lick of paint”
4. “I am glad I ate before coming over”
5. (To the mother) “You are as sexy as your daughter.”
6. (To the father) “That shelf looks crooked; did you put it up yourself?”
7. (If they smoke) “Did you know that smoking causes cancer?”
8. “Do you want me to cook”
9. “Can I sleep in (girlfriend/boyfriend)’s room tonight?”

Pick Up Lines:

I am sure we have all had pick up lines used on us at some point or you have used them yourself. I know I have had some of them tried on me and I mostly just laugh them off, but the really funny ones sometimes get my attention.

Some of these can be a bit rude, so read them with caution.

7 of the Wost, but Somewhat Amusing Pick Up Lines

1. I bet you $40.00 that you are going turn me down.
2. You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Well not in my case!
3. You know what? Your eyes are the same colour as my Porsche (we all know why that one could work)
4. You might as well sleep with me because I am going to tell everyone we did anyway.
5. I would say God bless you, but it looks like he already did.
6 You look like my second wife! And I’ve only been married once.
7. I’m invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?

I hope these gave you as much of a chuckle as they gave me. I would not recommend you try any of the above, but if you do I wish you luck and kindly request that you do not come running to me if they fail.

Andrea Johnson has put together a complimentary report that will help you build your dating confidence quickly. To download it instantly visit [http://www.helpingyoudate.com]

Andrea Johnson is a self established expert in the field of dating and relationships. Her website offers dating advice and tips via weekly emails as well as a complimentary downloadable report on how to date with more confidence. Andrea does not charge for her advice as she is passionate about helping people in her niche.

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Business Capital Solutions In Canada: Accessing Proper Cash Flow & Commercial Financing

Business capital requirements in Canada often boil down to some basic truths the business owner/financial mgr/entrepreneur needs to address when it comes to financing for businesses.

One of those truths? Knowing the true state of their financial condition and what financing they do and don’t qualify for when it comes to meeting commercial lending requirements in Canadian business.

Business Loans In Canada

Whether you are smaller or start-up firm looking for information on how to get a business loan or a larger established firm looking for growth financing or acquisition opportunities we’re highlighting 3 mistakes that commercial loan seekers like your company need to avoid making when addressing, sourcing and negotiating your cash flow / working capital and commercial financing needs.

1. Understand the true condition of your company finances – These are almost always successful addressed when you spend time on your financials and understand how your financial statements reflect your access to commercial loans & business credit in general

2. Ensure you have a plan in place for sales growth and financial needs as it relates to commercial financing

3. Understand that actual hard facts about cash flow which is, of course, the lifeblood of your company

Can you honestly answer or feel positive about all those 3 points. If so, pass Go and collect $ 100.00!

A good way to address your company’s finance plans is to ensure you understand growth finance solutions, as well as how to manage in a downturn – i.e. not growing, losing money, etc; It’s never fun to fund yourself in an economic or industry downturn such as the COVID pandemic of 2020!

When we talk to clients of new or established businesses it seems they are almost always talking about sales, so the ability to understand and focus on the differences in their profits and cash fluctuations is key.

How do cash flow and sales plans and projections affect the type of financing you require? For one thing sales growth usually starts out by consuming your cash, not generating it. A poor finance plan will drag your business down and addressing financing simply gets tougher and tougher.

Three basics always emerge when it comes to your search for the right business capital and financing.

1. The amount of financing you need

2. The type of financing (debt/cash flow/asset monetization) The business loan interest rate will be dramatically affected by whether you choose traditional or alternative financing solutions. Private business loans in Canada come from non regulated commercial finance companies most often known as ‘ alternative lenders ‘. These lenders are typically highly specialized in one ‘ niche ‘ of business financing and may be Canadian firms or branches of U.S. banks and non-bank lenders

3. How the financing is structured to be manageable with your day to day operations

What Finance Company In Canada Can Meet Your Borrowing Needs & Why Is Capital Important In Business

Let’s identify and break down key financings your firm should know about and understand if they are applicable and achievable to your business. They include:

A/R Financing / Factoring / Confidential Receivable Finance

Inventory finance / floor planning / retail inventory

Working Capital term loans

Unsecured cash flow loans

Merchant working capital loans/advances – these loans are geared toward short term cash needs and are typically one year in duration. Loan amounts are typically 15-20% of your annual sales revenues.

Royalty finance

Asset based non bank business lines of credit

Tax credit financing (SR&ED bridge loans)

Equipment Leasing / Sale leasebacks – Equipment financing in Canada is used by almost 80% of all companies looking to acquire new, and used, assets.

Govt Guaranteed Small Business Loan program – Government Loans in Canada are sometimes referred to as ‘ SBL’, aka Note: BDC Finance solutions are available from this Canadian non-bricks and morter crown corporation. A small business loan via the government-guaranteed loan program comes with true flexibility around term loan duration, market rates, no pre payment penalties, and of course the low personal guarantee that is required by borrowers. These two ‘ government ‘ loan solutions are often perfect for financing a new business.

If you’re focused on not making mistakes in your business finance needs and want to capitalize on the solutions your competitors are probably already using seek out and speak to a trusted, credible and experienced Canadian business financing advisor who can assist you with your cash flow and commercial financing needs.

Stan has had a successful career with some of the world’s largest and most successful corporations.

His employers over the last 25 years were, ASHLAND OIL, ( 1977-1980) DIGITAL EQUIPMENT CORPORATION, ( 1980-1990) ) CABLE & WIRELESS PLC,( 1991 -1993) ) AND HEWLETT PACKARD ( 1994-2004 ) In 2004 Stan founded 7 PARK AVENUE FINANCIAL – He is an expert in Canadian Business Financing.

Stan’s Business Financing articles are published on a number of internet sites and his Blog mixes Business Financing information with his comments on Canadian business

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